“The Gift” Part 2: The Giftening.

As I continue this series on singleness, today we’re going to look at what it is the bible says about the state of singleness largely irrespective of everything else. What I mean by that is, I’m not going to factor in extenuating circumstances or issues of “calling.” Those will be reserved for my next post, so if you intend any comments along the lines of “but not for everyone!,” I know. The weakness of a series is that you won’t address everything in every post.

Having said that, I will now turn to my reading of 1 Corinthians 7.

And any honest reading has to come to one conclusion: Singleness is better than marriage.
It’s not the popular conclusion, but I think it’s the textual one. And here’s why.

“I wish that all were as I myself am (that is unmarried)” verse 7a.
“To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am” verse 8.
“Are you fee from a wife? Do not seek a wife” verse 27b.
“So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better” verse 38.

I think that from these passages it is safe to infer that Paul saw the state of singleness as preferable to that of marriage, so much so that he wished that everyone (or at least everyone in the church) would be unmarried. Marriage is good, Paul says, but singleness is better.

And so we should ask (indeed, we naturally do ask), in what way is singleness supposed to be better?

And I think one thing we need to be clear on off the bat is that we’re not talking about a legal, moral better here. Paul’s clear that he who marries “has not sinned.” (To which we say, “of course,” but his argument does run the risk of leading to that conclusion otherwise.) The way Paul views this decision is one between to good options. Both are good. Both are glorifying to God. It’s just that one is, in some way, better. And this does correct the way we think. We tend to think of the choice as between an obvious good and a “good.” Something like becoming a monk or fasting 8 times a week. But in Paul’s mind what we’re facing here is a decision between two legitimate, robust goods.

And so we’re again faced with the question, how is singleness better?

“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord” verses 32-35 (emph. added).

Paul sees singleness as better than marriage universally. It is better as a category to him. And the reason why is because Paul sees that an unmarried person has greater possibility to focus solely on God. The unmarried person is able to have less distractions, less anxieties, and less divided devotion to the Lord.
This is no small thing. To push singleness off as some second-rate gift is to say that you value a desire for another person more highly than the opportunity to give more of your time, attention and affection to God. And that is serious.

And it’s compounded by the fact that most of the people who read this blog are unmarried. So the question arises, what are you going to with that? How are you going to view it? As a time to spend waiting for some better situation? Or maybe, just maybe, as a position in which you can serve the Lord wholeheartedly, joyfully, with fewer distractions and limitations? Maybe as an actual gift, maybe one you get to keep, as opposed to a temporary setback on the road to a good life?

-djstevens

P.S. Comments/disagreements/questions are welcome.
P.P.S. There are two more posts coming, God willing, one on individual application, and another on the point.