“The Gift” Part 3 – But what about?

“I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another” – 1 Corinthians 7:7

So to recap, last post we established a conclusion about singleness, namely that it is better than marriage. Now it’s better because of one attribute, being able to devote oneself more wholly to God, but still categorically better. To say otherwise is, I believe, to be untrue to Scripture.

But that leaves us with a question, “If singleness is better than marriage, should I be single for the rest of my life?”

And the answer is maybe.

Maybe you should. I don’t know, quite frankly. It may be that you genuinely could and would use that extra time and energy for the service of God. If so, I hope you do. Maybe you shouldn’t though. Maybe you would be too tempted with various sins and desires to the point where you would actually serve less. It’s different for everyone, each has his own gift.

The wrong way to approach it, however, is to do what we usually do. The argument I usually hear is, “Well I’m attracted to members of the opposite gender, therefore, I should get married.” Not every pastor begins his Christian life with a desire for ministry. And many a missionary is created by an unexpected short-term experience.
Also, I believe we have Scriptural support to believe that Paul at least entertained some desire for a wife, but denied himself what he saw as an obvious pleasure for the sake of ministry.

So how should we go about thinking about singleness?

I think the most helpful answer comes by analogy to another possible state in the Christian life, one that everyone believes is both better and more difficult, that of becoming a pastor.

Most of us would probably agree that the pastoral life has both it’s unique benefits, one of the chief of which is being able to completely devote one’s time to the study and ministry of God’s word (note a similarity here?), in addition to being able to share in the joys of others and gain greater insight into the things of God. But, it certainly has it’s peculiar difficulties, such as the weight of multiple souls, numerous thankless responsibilities, long hours, low pay and so on. There’s quite a lot to deter one from pursuing this lifestyle. Yet some still do. And they do so because of God’s gifting them to do so (the parallels continue!). Despite initial desire or lack thereof, what ultimately determines whether one should go into the ministry is whether God has so gifted you. And, as with all other gifts, it is certainly possible to ignore and leave useless because of a will set stubbornly against it.

So what am I getting at here? My proposition is that singleness, like full-time ministry, is position of devotion to God that should be both highly esteemed and considered. I honestly think that most, if not all, Christians ought to seriously consider serving the Lord in a lifelong state of singleness. The lure of a greater opportunity to devote ourselves to God and the heavenly reward that comes with such service ought to turn our heads and inspire us to think long and hard about whether or not we can go down such a road, whether we have been gifted by God to be able to live in devoted singleness, which is not the same as having no desire to marry.
I also think that most people will, rightfully, end up saying that no, they cannot. No, they’re not gifted this way.
I say that because it seems to be the norm of how God’s worked throughout history. It may be that He will raise up a generation of Christians that can only propagate itself by evangelism. If so, I hope the world takes notice of how great God is in the forsaking of earthly comforts for something better on a grand scale. It does not seem He has done so in the past, and so I assume that the norm still is that most are not given this gift.

But we all should consider it. We should want to be able to devote ourselves wholly to God. We should want to serve Him to the full extent we can.
The methods may be different. Marriage showcases Christ and the Church. It needs to be done as well. But those “who have wives” will need to find a way to “live as though they had none.” Not indifferently, but devotedly to Christ in, through, and (it seems in line with the logic of the passage) in spite of marriage.

More on this next post.

-djstevens